


Just Me and You

by breakfastbeebo



Series: Ryden One-shots [13]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 04:24:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10454889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakfastbeebo/pseuds/breakfastbeebo
Summary: Brendon is a very social person, but also a very anxious one. Sometimes, it all becomes too much and just one more encounter than expected can make everything unbearable. At this point, Ryan knows the signs and does everything he can to keep Brendon in his skin. Although success is not always guaranteed, Ryan would never leave Brendon to feel cornered or alone.





	

They were supposed to meet for lunch an hour ago; lateness was not a trait Ryan typically associated with Brendon. Sure, _distraction_ that lead to the occasional late arrival was expected, but Brendon never blatantly made Ryan wait. Hell, he’s never _stood Ryan up_ before. His excuse better be _stellar_.

Ryan was standing outside their favorite lunch place, leaning up against the low fence that wrapped around the outdoor seating area. The host asked him for forth time if he was sure he wanted to wait longer. Ryan was sure his pointed glare was a good enough answer. Where _was_ he?

Ryan checked his phone again, hoping to see a message from Brendon. The last message between the two of them was still Ryan saying he was on his way earlier that afternoon. Ryan began to draft a new text, finger hovering over the keys as he tottered between which kind of approach he wanted to take. Ryan decided to only send Brendon’s name, so the lost boy could hear it in the same flat and irritated tone Ryan had prepared at the tip of his tongue. Just as he pressed send, his own name emerged from a group of people walking down the street.

“Ryan!” Brendon waved his arm above their heads as he tried to squeeze past them and get over to him.

“Thanks for showing up.” Ryan said flatly. “Where the fuck were you?”

“Sorry. I-I got hung up. A bunch of people were at that meeting. It was only supposed to be a few.” Brendon muttered, rubbing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked exhausted. “I got caught up.” Brendon meant he got stuck in a row of handshakes and berating speeches.

Ryan immediately softened his heavy glare, trying to take weight off Brendon’s sagging shoulders. “It’s fine. I was just worried where you went.”

“I was in the meeting for _three hours_. And then got stuck in the parking lot. And then traffic. And then _this_ parking lot.” Brendon looked at Ryan with apologetic eyes. “I’m so tired.” Brendon was a very social person, but Ryan knew there were some days that wore him down more than most—and almost four hours of constant communication and socialization was bound to be one of them.

“That’s okay.” Ryan placed an arm around him, trying to give him something to lean against or somewhere to rest for the first time that day. “Do you want to go somewhere else? We don’t have to eat here. We can go to my place—I’ll do something for you.”

“No. That’s okay. This is fine.” Brendon waved the option away with a weak hand and approached the host. The man looked between the two of them, obviously surprised that Ryan’s date finally showed up.

They were seated by the wall, the rest of the restaurant stretching out beside them. Ryan rested his elbows on the table as he looked at the menu, while Brendon leaned against the wall, seemingly hugging it as his eyes continuously darted from the table to the other people around them.

“Brendon, are you sure you’re okay?” Brendon’s menu was upside down and he didn’t even seem to notice. “We _can_ leave, if you want.”

“No. No it’s fine… Just let me… uh…” Brendon fiddled with the menu, turning it around on his placemat. “I can do this.”

“Okay. If you say so.” Ryan sighed, averting his eyes back to the menu.

As Ryan looked, deciding what to order, a woman approached the table a pad of paper tapping against her leg as she walked. Ryan turned to greet her with a smile, knowing it was the waitress, but Brendon refused to look up, his eyes suddenly cemented to his fingers tracing the menu’s corner.

“Hi, I’m Andrea and I’ll be your waitress. Can I start you off with something to drink?” She asked only Ryan, seeing as though Brendon was attempting to remove himself from the scene.

“Just water for me, thanks.” Ryan answered, smiling at Andrea. They both turned to look at Brendon, who looked to be trying to memorize the menu. “…and one for him too, actually. Thank you.” Andrea nodded shortly and turned away from the table without question. As she walked away, Brendon’s eyes expanded their range and began staring at the hand Ryan placed on the table to try and reach him. “Brendon. We can go.”

“I’m _fine_.”

“You couldn’t even _look_ at her.”

“Our waitress was a woman?” Brendon asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he finally looked out over the other tables.

“That’s it. Get your coat back on we’re going.” Ryan said firmly, pushing his chair back.

“ _No_.” Brendon grabbed Ryan’s hand tightly, trying to tug him back into his chair. “I already made you wait. The least I can do it let you _eat_. You love this place.”

“I do. Because it’s _our_ lunch place. It means nothing if you aren’t going to enjoy it, Brendon. Really, I want to go. Let’s go back to my place and I’ll make you something. Just us, okay?” Ryan held onto Brendon’s hand as he walked around to Brendon’s side of the table, crouching down to be eye-level with him. “Let me go find our waitress and we can go, okay? Make sure you have everything and I’ll be _right back_.” Ryan smiled and squeezed Brendon’s hand before releasing it and walking the same way he saw Andrea disappear.

“Can I help you?” The host was standing beside a group of waitresses, confused by Ryan’s appearance.

“Is Andrea here?” Ryan saw a hand raise from the back of the group, emerging from the kitchen doors. “Hi, uh, I’m so sorry, but we need to take off.”

“That’s alright.” She nodded with understanding, her plastered-on smile fading into a genuine one. She peered over Ryan’s shoulder, presumably at Brendon. “I understand.”

“Let me pay for—for the hassle of us taking us the table, please.” Ryan said, but Andrea waved him off with a quick flip of her hand. “No, really. I would feel awful if I just—”

“No, really.” She echoed, her hand lifting to follow her eye-sight. “I think that will be more of a hassle.”

Ryan whipped around to look back at his table. Brendon had stood up from his chair, but hadn’t taken a step away from the wall. His shoulder was resting against it as a man was standing next to him, speaking animatedly, a grin on his face. The man meant no harm, but Brendon was all but hoping the wall would swallow him up; his eyes were wide and focused on some empty space between him and the floor, the words pooling around him and slowly drowning him. Ryan walked over quickly, ducking under a serving tray to reach Brendon before the man touched his shoulder again—chumminess was a risky business.

“Brendon!” Ryan grinned. He placed a slow hand on Brendon’s back, trying to stir him awake. “Ready to go?”

“Brendon.” The man echoed, wagging a finger at him. “I definitely know you from somewhere.”

“I’m sure you do, but we’ve got to get going. If you remember, let us know.” Ryan responded shortly, flashing a pained smile before trying to lead Brendon away.

“Do you do movies or something?” He continued, stepping towards them again. Brendon made a quiet noise of panic and shifted his weight from the wall to Ryan.

“Hey, man, back up.” Ryan said firmly, holding a hand out. “We don’t do movies or anything like that. We just look familiar, we have those faces.” Ryan’s tone was growing sharper as Brendon’s nails dug into his hand.

“I don’t know _you_.” The man replied with a scoff. “Only him.”

“Well, then it will do me _no_ harm to say that you need to leave him alone. Can’t you see he doesn’t want to talk?” Ryan turned his attention back to Brendon and noticed he was starting to stare at the door. “We have to go. Thanks for great company.”

“It’s _music_ , right—”

“Alright, we’re gone.” Ryan muttered, wrapping an arm around Brendon and walking him through the front doors. The man stayed inside, but Brendon’s jittery nerves followed them back out.

Ryan loosened his grip and slid his hand down to just hold Brendon’s hand, not wanting to make him feel trapped against his side. Brendon walked slowly, each step taking him through a completely different world soaring past him. Ryan followed patiently, looking around to try and show that things were moving at the exact same pace as them—Brendon never noticed though. Once they stepped past the entrance to the small plaza, and started for the parking lot, Ryan began to steer Brendon in the right direction. There was no one else around to act as a danger, but the maze of cars still acted as a chance for surprises.

Ryan had parked the closest and led Brendon to his car, unlocking the passenger door and helping him climb in before walking around to get to the driver’s side. He opened the door and was faced with Brendon, already upset, head resting in his hands. Ryan rushed in and shut the door as quickly but as quietly as he could.

“No, no, no. What’s wrong? You’re okay.” Ryan cooed, reaching over to place a hand on his back, trying to soothe him.

“I’m sorry.” Brendon’s voice cracked as he hiccupped into his hands. “I’m the worst.”

“No! You’re not! It’s okay, really. I’d actually prefer being at home anyway.” Ryan tried to move closer to Brendon, but could only stretch his arm so far. “Brendon, it’s _okay_.”

“I’m just—I’m sorry. I ruined your whole plan.” Brendon mumbled. His hands fell away from his face to pull on the slack of his sleeves.

“My plan was to see you. And I will still be doing that.” Ryan laughed, leaning over farther to place a kiss on his cheek. “You are the only thing I was looking forward to today.”

“You don’t have to just say that.” Brendon sniffled, looking over at him. His red and puffy eyes always made Ryan’s stomach twist; he felt responsible every time he couldn’t keep the flood from overwhelming him.

“No, I mean it. Really. I don’t care if we’re there, or in the apartment, or even _here_ in this damn parking lot. I get to see you, and that’s all I could really ask for.” Ryan ran a hand through Brendon’s hair and smoothed down the stray pieces frazzled in their own way. “I love you, remember?”

Brendon laughed wetly, a short sob escaping afterward. “I remember.”

“Then believe me.” Ryan let his hand rest, cupping the side of Brendon’s face. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And now, you’re fine. No one is going to bother you anymore today. You can relax. I’ve got you.”

Brendon leaned against Ryan’s hand and sighed. “I love you.” He placed his own hand over Ryan’s. “Thank you.”

“You know I’d do anything for you.” Ryan promised, leaning over to kiss Brendon lightly. He only let his lips brush Brendon’s before he pulled away. He looked at Brendon’s face with worried eyes, he was sure, Brendon trying to smile back at him. His eyes were still red and cheeks still wet, but the smile lifting them was genuine. Ryan hadn’t quite figured out how to prevent the flooding—the breaking, the destruction, the helplessness he felt—but he still knew how to repair it, little by little. All four hands working to build a stronger wall this next time around. It didn’t matter how long it would last, Ryan never ran out of willingness to help.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the wonderful anon who requested this idea. love it and love you xoxo


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